anonniemouse: (Default)
anonniemouse ([personal profile] anonniemouse) wrote in [community profile] tf_talk2015-04-16 10:55 am

Gloves Off

Please use this post for discussion of those contentious, murky, triggering issues too complex to discuss/moderate on the main post.

Note that this post is NOT a free-for-all and will still be modded for slurs, namecalling, doxxing and trolling. But fair warning that it will not be moderated for discussion of issues some find triggering (trans issues, mental illness, etc.) and that if you choose to participate here, you do so at your own risk.

An Inconvenient House-buying

(Anonymous) 2016-03-03 05:13 pm (UTC)(link)
He began posting frantically, saying that he needed the money to pay for it in a few hours time.

Goodness, what a terrible chain of coincidences. He can't schedule for the later date because he has an internship (but taking time out mid-semester is fine? In his first semester after transferring? Okay). His well-off parents can't help because they just bought a house. He has to pay RIGHT NOW (because the hospital doesn't arrange payment plans or accept credit cards, I guess?)
I could believe any single one of those things, but pile them up and it starts to smell off.

Re: An Inconvenient House-buying

(Anonymous) 2016-03-03 05:36 pm (UTC)(link)
Yeah, there are a lot of things fishy here, and in that crazy-making way where they're all things it's possible to explain in a way that doesn't implicate Andy...BUT it's a mighty big coincidence if somehow all this weird stuff happened at once in the same case.

- I could believe someone choosing to miss a week of school rather than a week of an internship program; a boss at a selective internship is going to be a lot harder to get time off past than a bunch of professors who are already jaded and used to dealing with flaky students of some sort. However it's still one of those weird things that's easy to excuse but looks strange when added together with all the other reddish flags.

- His parents, established, well-off people, don't have any liquid funds whatsoever for emergencies?? Buying a house is less "giving away all your at-hand money" and more "signing up for recurring payments and debt for a while." IF his parents have the kind of money where they can just buy a house outright, they're smart enough to have $10-20k socked away in a saving account for stuff like medical emergencies.

Maybe he asked them and they said no but gave the house as an excuse...but it's still a thin excuse, and whether they invented it or Andy did it doesn't make sense.

- I could kind of believe a specialist not covered by insurance asking for money up front, but it's one of those things where I'm only willing to believe it because I'm not an expert...which I'm well aware is exactly where Andy loves to let his lies live.

The credit card thing is a great point. I had a big surgery last year and every one of the hospitals and specialist clinics I went to accepted credit cards.

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Re: An Inconvenient House-buying

(Anonymous) 2016-03-04 12:21 am (UTC)(link)
Considering his history, I would be amazed that he could get a credit card.

His lack of credit rating would be an obstacle.

Payment plans can be arranged before hand but if you don't have a credit rating that they like, the interest rate is close to usury and the procedure can cost almost twice as much.

It's the pay right now or the world will end that makes me go Huh?

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Re: An Inconvenient House-buying

(Anonymous) 2016-03-04 12:23 am (UTC)(link)
Does anyone else find it fishy that within a couple of months of being out of his parents observation, he is going back to behaviors that look all too familiar?

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Re: An Inconvenient House-buying

(Anonymous) 2016-03-04 02:07 am (UTC)(link)
The date he wants to have the surgery is actually during his spring break. (You can confirm at academiccalendars.vcu.edu). That doesn't explain any of the rest of this stuff, though. The supposed need to pre-pay the entire amount is particularly suspicious to me. I have never had a medical procedure that worked that way.

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Fundraising Cont

(Anonymous) 2016-03-09 09:39 pm (UTC)(link)
So, one of the dates he claimed was March 8. Has there been any news or updates on his latest desperately urgent medical thing?

Re: Fundraising Cont

(Anonymous) 2016-03-13 05:26 pm (UTC)(link)
He seems to be doing okay. He claimed that they gave him a compression garment so small it made his ribs literally overlap, though (I don't doubt it was the wrong size but is that even possible???), but that seems to be sorted and he seems in good spirits.

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aggregating posts about the fundraiser

(Anonymous) 2016-03-18 04:32 pm (UTC)(link)
TB's writeup: http://theteablogger.tumblr.com/post/141188992757/old-habits-die-hard
LB-Bee's response: http://lb-lee.tumblr.com/post/141222116734/old-habits-die-hard

Anyone else discussing this outside of here? It seems like the fact that it's related to transitioning has a lot of people (possibly rightly) hesitating to comment publicly.

Re: aggregating posts about the fundraiser

(Anonymous) 2016-03-23 05:02 pm (UTC)(link)
I read up on it but it's not my area of expertise like schizophrenia is. There are more knowledgeable people out there with better opinions.

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Re: aggregating posts about the fundraiser

(Anonymous) 2016-03-23 11:19 pm (UTC)(link)
It seems like the fact that it's related to transitioning has a lot of people (possibly rightly) hesitating to comment publicly.

TBH I think that's for the best. ANY time anything related to transwank comes up, Andy inevitably spins it to his favor. I think Teablogger's posts about it are okay (still in the middle of the first of the 2-parter though), since the focus is on how he worded his fundraiser, not the transition itself. Anything to do with the transition itself, I feel, should be left for other trans people to discuss, as the topic can veer into transphobia/transwank pretty easily.

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So had he dropped off of Tumblr for.....

(Anonymous) 2016-03-25 03:04 am (UTC)(link)
His tumblr account basically says that he isn't into tumblr.

Where has he fled to?

Re: So had he dropped off of Tumblr for.....

(Anonymous) 2016-03-25 03:11 am (UTC)(link)
There are theories he has an alternate tumblr, but I think it's more likely he's doing stuff on facebook where groups can be set private.

I was right

(Anonymous) 2016-03-26 03:49 pm (UTC)(link)
I got flack for commenting on the make up job in his go fund me post.

But it was confirmed that was his Bucky cos-play photo that he was using to garner sympathy.

For all his I am so good at make-up he is not that great.

Also called it two years ago that he was gunning for Marvel as his next hunting ground and Bucky is tailor made for his delusions

Fundraiser goal not met.

(Anonymous) 2016-04-04 05:51 am (UTC)(link)
When the benefactor came through offering to cover Andrew's surgery, he was supposed to use the GFM to pay him back by the end of the March. I'm assuming the benefactor couldn't really afford it, hence the deadline. Fundraising seems to be stalled--no one has donated in more than 2 weeks. As of writing this, he's raised $4281/$6000.

I don't think Andy was trying to scam anyone, and I believe he eventually will manage to pay the benefactor back. Hopefully the person helping him out isn't in too dire financial straits because of this.

Re: Fundraiser goal not met.

(Anonymous) 2016-04-05 01:48 am (UTC)(link)
I don't think he ever sets out to deliberately scam money. I think it's more like he intends to pay it back, but if he can't... Meh. Not really his problem, is it?

Turimel

(Anonymous) 2016-05-07 05:56 pm (UTC)(link)
I was rereading the Ciyarra the child prostitute post on Turimel's blog and then went down the rabbit hole of old posts. I haven't read any of those in years since she became irrelevant. But looking back, she was pretty terrible. The things she wrote are so incredibly mean spirited.

http://turimel.livejournal.com/

Re: Turimel

(Anonymous) 2016-05-12 02:33 am (UTC)(link)
It's kind of sad, she was her own worst enemy in so many ways. I can understand why she initially thought Andy's male identity was just another con but after she had a chance to speak to Abbey and Abbey was able to vouch that "yes, he may have lied about every *other* part of who he is, but I can 100% confirm that Andy is honest-to-god for-real trans and his male identity should be respected", but Turi *still* insists on calling Andy Amy or putting his name in scare quotes. There's actually some genuinely useful information about Andy's past misdeeds, lies and manipulations on Turimel's LJ, but I always feel kind of skeevy about linking to any of her material because of the rampant transphobia.

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666

(Anonymous) 2016-06-04 07:08 pm (UTC)(link)
I am seriously just commenting so I can have comment 666.

-KQ

Re: 666

(Anonymous) 2016-06-04 07:54 pm (UTC)(link)
<3

(frozen comment) Re: 666

(Anonymous) 2016-08-21 04:52 am (UTC)(link)
Nice life you have there.

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Cont'd from main post, Re: Watchful

(Anonymous) 2016-08-16 10:32 pm (UTC)(link)

http://watchfulnonny.tumblr.com/post/149037170737/my-apologies-the-posts-in-question-i-want-to

Basically, he's had a couple of PTSD episodes related to Brittany's murder (which is completely understandable). But he's gone on to do things like post about self-medicating with alcohol on the 4th of July to deal with fireworks going off and if he claimed to have the level of mental health care he does, he wouldn't be doing things like that.


Frankly, I think what thanfiction has is more performance art than PTSD. That the anniversary gives thanfic an almost orgasmic opportunity to wallow in angst and sympathy-gathering.

Re: Cont'd from main post, Re: Watchful

(Anonymous) 2016-08-16 10:51 pm (UTC)(link)
Not to mention an opportunity to emotionally abuse his friends. I wasn't aware of this "Meg, don't go to work or I will obsess about whether you've died all day" situation when it took place but HOLY SHIT that is textbook emotional abuse!!!! Advice columns live on red flags like that in partner/romantic situations, where one partner claims anxiety to keep another partner from leaving to go to work/see friends/etc.

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The diagnosis rodeo

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Time's article I think is relevant

(Anonymous) 2016-10-21 10:05 pm (UTC)(link)
But I think it needs to go here because of the subject material

http://time.com/4533133/5-ways-to-deal-with-a-psychopath/?xid=newsletter-brief

Nipple fail

(Anonymous) 2017-01-18 11:42 pm (UTC)(link)
The mod has asked this comment/subject to be moved here.

I am married to a transman and went with him through all the surgeries and the like for him.

I know a lot of transmen and I have seen the different ways that the surgery is done and have seen both good and bad top surgery.

I am appalled at what that surgeon did to Andy. The way that the nipple inverts is going to cause him lots of problems later in life. It is one of the worst examples I have seen of that specific kind of surgery. Also the placement of the nipple is strange enough without the tattoo bringing it into even sharper focus.

Re: Nipple fail

(Anonymous) 2017-01-19 12:55 am (UTC)(link)
Oh, is that why the upper edge of the nipple looks kind of sunken? If that's a surgical error that sucks, and I feel angry on his behalf. Can it be corrected?

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Blue...fail?

(Anonymous) 2017-05-12 03:46 am (UTC)(link)
(I'm putting this here because it has MASSIVE TW: for SUICIDE and SELF HARM and it's kind of impossible to talk about it without talking about either of those.)

Has anybody read about that Russian guy that made that Blue Whale app? (article here MASSIVE SUICIDE AND SELF HARM and also just TOTAL ASSHOLE TW: http://metro.co.uk/2017/05/10/man-behind-blue-whale-suicide-game-says-hes-cleansing-society-6627694/)

Everything I read about this guy makes me sick, but also reminds me really, really strongly of Andy - he's deliberately leaving breadcrumbs out, targeting a specifically vulnerable group, offering them what they think they need - he describes it as 'warmth, comfort, a place to belong', when what they're really signing up to is, in essence, a death cult. He's Andy with what few brakes exist removed.

This is what really frightens me about Andy. That one day he could turn into this asshole. There are some really creepy similarities - according to a different article, Budeieken was unremarkable and friendless for most of his life. Sound familiar?

And what makes things worse? Some of the girls from his cult are sending him love letters....

Is there a chance Andy could turn into a monster like this, or is his narcissism too tied to his need for followers?

Re: Blue...fail?

(Anonymous) 2017-05-13 07:03 am (UTC)(link)
My answer is no. The similarities are only superficial.

Andy's MO is completely different. He thrives best when he is at the center of a very small, dedicated group with whom he is in constant personal contact, or when his mark is a single person. He uses them to get himself constant attention and praise. He enjoys fucking with them, and that can include doing potentially dangerous things, but I don't think Andy has ever actually intended to kill anyone. With Brittany, I think he got greedy and underestimated the explosive reaction of the man they intended to exhort.

Blue Whale is designed by nature to be largely impersonal. The guy doesn't have to ever meet the people who die. Andy's MO seems to be an initial period of lovebombing that escalates into increasing control and abuse, but it is always predicated on the notion of an actual relationship of some kind. That doesn't exist with Blue Whale.

I also can't imagine Andy ever admitting to being someone's "master" in the sense described in that article, nor to considering people "toxic waste". His whole persona is designed to radiate benevolence.

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(Anonymous) 2017-08-08 04:56 am (UTC)(link)
https://www.instagram.com/p/BXWLH3DlpTP/

Tell me that's not Andy's hand in the top right of the picture. Tell me he's not lying in Meg's bed with her, while she's in her underwear. Mr. "Boundaries, We Can Has."

From her q+a in this very comm:

"Nah, I've continued to pull back and keep the friendship in a healthier place even after moving in [to Andy's parents' house]. I know a lot of you will probably never believe it...but it was not Andy's doing to coerce or invite me to live with him. ... And truthfully, I will be here for several years longer than Andy will, and I'm certainly not intending to follow him, wherever he goes when he moves out."

(Anonymous) 2017-08-09 04:43 pm (UTC)(link)
Less worried than I could be since she has said she is gay and Andy is a man not a woman.

I am going to take Meg at her word on this since this is her life.

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