tf_talk | Continued Discussion (Post 2)

Perfect! Thanks for taking the time, it's nice to not worry someone is putting words in your mouth for an agenda.

Of course, totally understandable ^_^

Link to Molly's tweet confirming that this is her: https://twitter.com/MollyMcIsaac/status/1013942715942178816

First off I just want to say how impressed I am with your handling of the whole situation. Andy leans hard on social pressure to manipulate and it says a lot about your spine and sense of boundaries that you got him out so fast. The end of this post reads like a checklist of exactly what to do in this kind of situation.

Can you share more about this, as well as how he invited himself to stay? "He spoke about my closest friends as if they were strangers to me."

Hi Molly! First off, I'm sorry you're getting dragged through the mud by his followers.

Second, you mention that someone did make you aware of Andy's past. What exactly did you find on him, and where?

And thank you for opening this up and letting us ask questions.

Molly - I am so happy that you are willing to be so public about this, even when it means his white knights trying desperately to discredit you. It's not an easy path, but it is deeply appreciated, by more people than those who post publicly. -KQ

Hey Anon, thanks! Unfortunately, I am a victim of pretty much a lifetime of various abuse, culminating in getting involved romantically with two sociopaths in my adult life. But FORTUNATELY from that, I have been through enough therapy and healing that I am EXTREMELY hyper vigilant and sharp and pick up on red flags really easily. I do not give predators the benefit of the doubt because I know how manipulative they can be.

When he asked to stay... it was very matter of fact on his part. Initially, he told me he was coming to LA for the summer and asked if I had a place he could crash for a few days. I told him "Sure, once you get here let's hang out and if we get along you can stay here!". From that point we talked a lot about him making a costume for me, he made some art of me, more talking up his costuming skills, then the next time he brought up staying with me it wasn't "can I stay there", it was "okay, I will be there June 1st".
I went along with it because I thought - "Well, maybe we did discuss him actually coming for real and it just slipped my mind." But, since I kicked him out I've gone back through our twitter DMs and have seen he never once asked permission. I said "maybe if we get along" and then he told me when he was coming. I see now he was testing my boundaries. I'm such a busy person sometimes things slip my mind and he totally took advantage of that.

As for speaking about my friends... it's a really hard thing to pinpoint. It was more of a feeling than anything I can particularly put words to. However, a particular instance was that a close, close friend of mine was moving. She had posted on FB that she needed help packing. He came into my kitchen and told me: "I am going to go help E move!"
I looked at him, surprised, and said: "How do you know E? You haven't met her yet?"
He got a little uncomfortable and dodgy and then said "well you know I haven't met her yet but we've been talking online!"
So he had just added a bunch of my friends and inserted themselves into their lives without even being introed by me first.

And he would speak about my friends, their lives and their interests and trials and tribulations as if they were very, very close friends. IE "I am worried about so and so and her self esteem issues", despite him only talking to this person once. It was a very manufactured closeness that made me very uncomfortable, was extremely surreal and had me constantly on edge. It felt like he was trying to steal my friends, but I chided myself for being foolish with that thought.

What you have to remember is that when we kicked him out he had known all of us only two weeks. Most of these people he had only ever talked to in a group setting at my house. We all barely knew him but he talks like we were best friends with him, and none of us even really liked him that much because he was rude and body shamey and had weird vibes and lied all the time. We spent so much time texting and comparing stories and things he would say, and he was giving all of us different stories about the most inane shit.

Hi!

Honestly, I've had way worse. This is child's play to me (don't take that as a challenge, Andy stans). I mostly find the cry baby posturing a little sad, because he has no horse in this race and I am not trying to do anything to hurt him, just protect my community from yet another predator - we have an excess of those already.

So, how I became aware.

First of all, I need to make it clear that Andy NEVER brought his past up to me EXCEPT to tell me that sometime he would tell me how he accidentally started a hobbit cult once he had had some wine. It was said laughingly and something that seemed like a hilarious story. The ONLY reason I knew he had a rough past in fandom was due to his Facebook posts about it, but he constantly painted himself as a hapless victim of mental illness. When I went snooping, I found horrible lulzcow posts that were terribly wank-y and I didn't want to deal with it so I closed out of it. At NO point did I know even 10% of the extent of his past. I should have done better research, but it also didn't really occur to me to research someone who I liked (at the time). Furthermore, another one of my online friends who I like very much is a good IRL friend of his, so she vouched for him and that put me at ease.

So, the long version of how I found out about his past is that I had about had it already with him and was ready to get him the fuck out of my house/life, but thought maybe I was just overreacting to someone annoying/insecure. I decided to take a weekend trip to clear my head and figure out how to deal with this houseguest overstaying their welcome, so 3 of my girlfriends and I made a pilgrimage out to the forest for the weekend.

While I was out there, one of my best friends in the entire world sent me and my fiance an extremely long group text. I'm not kidding when I say it was a novel. This friend has been active in the LotR fandom for over a decade and they saw all of the Thanfiction shit go down first hand. So, they sent us this incredibly detailed text with bullet points of Andy's past behavior, why my friend was alarmed and concerned that he was in our home, etc. At NO point did this friend mention the blogs UNTIL they needed to cite things AT THE VERY END. Everything was all personal words from someone looking out for their friends.

As I read the text, my stomach sank. I became nauseated and had to get up from the dinner I was at with my friends. I knew then that all of my doubts and red flags were confirmed and I needed Andy out of my house IMMEDIATELY.

So I called my fiance and said "did you read the text". He confirmed that he had, and I said "get him the fuck out". My fiance said yes, I texted some friends asking if they could go be there with my fiance for back up, and a few hours later Andy showed up. They had put all of his things in the front yard (NEATLY), and my fiance said something to the effect of: "It has come to our attention that you are a dangerous predator. We do not want someone like you around our family and friends. Give me back the key and do not attempt to contact us or come back here or we will call the police."

Fiance and friends then loaded up his car while he muttered to himself and sent him on his merry way.

Of course!! Your bravery bolsters me <3 I don't want him ever getting his claws in anyone ever again.

Thank you, Molly.

The Andy stans have been trying to claim that the AA bloggers somehow contacted you to out Andy. Clearly this is not the case. I'm so glad you had a friend contact you, they were worried about you.

No questions - I just wanted to say that I respect the hell out of you, your fiancé, and your friends. I hope you don't have to deal with this nonsense much longer.

Have any of his other friends tried to talk to you (or friends) directly, or was it just Chris on your FB post arguing with you & linking to the "FAQ"?

(ooooops accidentally posted without replying below. Can you delete the double post, mod?)

Thanks so much for doing this, and for being so proactive about getting the word out about him!

I was wondering if there were any other weird things he did like the stick story? That to me, more than anything, just seemed to perfectly indicate his particular weird brand of sociopathy.

The Sarah Saga is an internet tale of a group house that let a woman move in who believed she was a character from an RPG and generally created hell on earth for her housemates. Maybe it's true, maybe it's fiction, maybe it's a mix of both. According to the story, the owner of the house had an extremely difficult time kicking her out (and the story was never finished). It all took place in California and the more I think about this, the more it really DOES apply to Andy's situation (or could have had he not been shown the door)

http://shii.bibanon.org/shii.org/knows/Sarah_Sagahtml.html

First of all, I love your chickens, and I am very sad that my city won't let me have any of my own.

Second, did you ever tell Andy that you'd read about him online? I'm wondering if he could have assumed you'd found a more detailed history and then decided there was no need to discuss it further. I am NOT trying to excuse Andy here--he should have admitted to everything no matter what you'd read, and obviously his behavior at your house was incredibly inappropriate regardless. Just trying to determine what level of awful his "Molly knows everything" line was--self-serving willful ignorance or outright lie?

Thank you for doing this!

Thank you for doing this.

I heard that he left needles lying around where your dogs could step on them. How did he treat your pets and/or other animals you saw him with?

I always remember Ridicule's counter to this: Judas kept excellent company.

What are some examples of his lies? Not specifically about his past, more about his grandiose statements, trying to get you to believe a clear falsehood, etc

You mentioned that he would make casually homophobic and transphobic comments... can you expand on what those comments were like? Were they in the same vein as the bodyshaming comments you talked about, where he would undermine and insult someone in the guise of complimenting them, or were they more overtly homo/transphobic?

Thank you! That means a lot. But honestly, I'll deal with it as long as I need to to keep LA safe from people like Andy.

Yes, two of his other friends have PMed me to try to talk to me about it/ask for explanations. I ignored them.

It's really hard for me to answer this question, because there's a lot of stories I want to tell but they mostly involve my friends who aren't willing to be mentioned/involved in this publicly, so it's hard for me to talk about. Like Tea Blogger said, what I've allowed her to share is really brushing the surface of it. I wish I could go all out but I respect my friend's wishes.

Similar to the stick story though, once he came back from going to the asian market and told me this whole "hilarious" story about how he turned the wrong way down a one way and almost ran into a slug bug car with eyelashes. When he got out to apologize (???) the driver of the other car was a "4'11" tiny girl in full decora Lolita (on a weekday afternoon, mind you) who cursed him out in english, spanish, chinese, AND Japanese.

This is very obviously not true. I literally rolled my eyes at him and he wandered into the guest room and then posted the exact same story, word for word, on Facebook.

He also told me some fucking insane stories, like that he had made out with a famous friend of mine (he didn't) and told another friend that he had driven Hugh Jackman to his hotel after he almost ran Andy over due to exhaustion. His compulsive lying is so out of control.

Thank you, my chickens are the best!! I love them so much. I just had to pick them up out of the flower pots YET AGAIN and put them to bed, hahaha. Silly creatures. And yeah, Pasadena is a weird part of LA that allows me to have 10 hens!! I'm verrryyy lucky, it's one of the main reasons I moved here.

I did tell Andy I had read about him online. But I said: "I read some things about you online, but I try not to pass judgement on people about internet gossip and I would rather hear it from their own mouth." He just laughed and changed the subject.

He was definitely very, very slovenly. He left needles on the floor (I found one in my living room!), made a huge mess of the guest room, didn't wash the dishes he used, etc. And there's more about how gross he was, but mentioning it feels like bullying (hygiene issues) so I don't really want to go into that.

As for the animals, he was actually very good with my dogs and obsessively loved my chickens. He obsessed over them a lot, but I think maybe it might have been because I love my animals a lot and it was a way to endear himself to me? However, I do think he really does love animals. My sociopathic ex who tried to kill me didn't hurt me worse because I was holding my dog - sometimes monsters just like animals better than humans.

God, there were so many. A few off the top of my head:

- That he had never lived in California before
- Telling blatant lies about experiences he had had (see in a comment above about the lolita who swore at him in 4 languages)
- That he made out with a famous friend of mine
- That he was in his early 20s
- That he was a cis straight male and was raised with extreme male privilege (this is his prerogative as a trans person but on top of everything else and ESPECIALLY when talking to other trans people...)
- Told weird lies to friends about ME like that I wanted him and the famous friend he had supposedly made out with to have a "trivia off" (wtf, I never said anything even close to this)
- Like, just blatant gaslighting. It was totally wild to see this happen. Like he would insult one of my friends, then insist he was talking about someone els when called out and I saw the entire thing happen and I was just so like "wtf is happening right now"
- Not clear on this one, but I believe he heavily implied an IMDB of another Andy Blake who is a costumer was him to someone I know

And for the grandiose stuff, it was always just like... "I hung out with this celeb", "I trained with this famous chef", "I am a world class chef", "I have a genius IQ", etc etc. A ton of insane ego. He also loved to tell totally inane stories with zero point or punchline that just were about how smart and quirky he was, especially stories about how weird he was as a child.

Continued Discussion (Post 2)

Re: Molly here - wanted to clear some stuff up & answer any questions you have.

Re: Molly here - wanted to clear some stuff up & answer any questions you have.

Re: Molly here - wanted to clear some stuff up & answer any questions you have.

Re: Molly here - wanted to clear some stuff up & answer any questions you have.

Re: Molly here - wanted to clear some stuff up & answer any questions you have.

Re: Molly here - wanted to clear some stuff up & answer any questions you have.

Re: Molly here - wanted to clear some stuff up & answer any questions you have.

Re: Molly here - wanted to clear some stuff up & answer any questions you have.

Re: Molly here - wanted to clear some stuff up & answer any questions you have.

Re: Molly here - wanted to clear some stuff up & answer any questions you have.

Re: Molly here - wanted to clear some stuff up & answer any questions you have.

Re: Molly here - wanted to clear some stuff up & answer any questions you have.

Re: Molly here - wanted to clear some stuff up & answer any questions you have.

Re: Police reports

Re: Molly here - wanted to clear some stuff up & answer any questions you have.

Re: Molly here - wanted to clear some stuff up & answer any questions you have.

Re: the FAQ changed their "cover photo"...

Re: Molly here - wanted to clear some stuff up & answer any questions you have.

Re: Molly here - wanted to clear some stuff up & answer any questions you have.

Re: Molly here - wanted to clear some stuff up & answer any questions you have.

Re: Molly here - wanted to clear some stuff up & answer any questions you have.

Re: Molly here - wanted to clear some stuff up & answer any questions you have.

Re: Molly here - wanted to clear some stuff up & answer any questions you have.

Re: Molly here - wanted to clear some stuff up & answer any questions you have.

Re: Molly here - wanted to clear some stuff up & answer any questions you have.