tf_talk | continued Thatfucker discussion

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continued Thatfucker discussion

Since we've been kicked off FFA for the week, please feel free to continue the anon discussion here. Apologies if this is a big flop - I've never made a DW community before!

The rules are vaguely the same as they are over on FFA. Please refrain from being too much of an asshole, making personal attacks, posting identifying information or engaging in transfail.

ETA: If there's information you'd like to see archived (journal/blog posts related to Andy, etc.), please dump it here and link to it from the main post for discussing.

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Can someone please expand on the creepy "Begit" thing? Thanks!

https://kumquatwriter.wordpress.com/2013/06/03/horses-mouth-and-horses-ass/

"Begit" was something that Andy wrote in 2002 or 2003. After a very nasty depiction of his college boyfriend and their relationship, Andy describes some of the women that he was "working on" online at that time, what he thought he could get out of each one, and the different traits and personalities that he pretended to have in order to manipulate each of them.

TB

It's been posted in the pit:

http://tf-talk.dreamwidth.org/600.html?thread=88408#cmt88408

Andy (at that time called by his birth name, Amy, and still identifying as female), pretending to be Frodo, wrote a semi-biographical piece about how much Amy disliked her relationship with her then boyfriend, and how preferable it was to get praise and attention from women online. Oh, and how thrilling it was to deceive them.

This can get confusing, because it looks like the list of traits after the usernames might be a description of the women Andy's talking about. It's not. It's a description of the different personas he was taking on in order to ensnare them.

This can get confusing, because it looks like the list of traits after the usernames might be a description of the women Andy's talking about. It's not. It's a description of the different personas he was taking on in order to ensnare them.

I have read that piece at least 10 times and met Andy-then-Amy before it was even written and this is the FIRST TIME I HAVE EVER REALIZED THAT.

*re-aligns entire worldview holy fuck*

Hoooooooly shit this makes so much more sense and is so much creepier than before.

Holy fuck indeed. The creepiness factor just went up by several orders of magnitude.

AYRT - indeed. It's not that I wasn't aware he was doing that privately. It's the fact that he's admitting to doing it here (hell, basically bragging about it), when I thought he was just admitting to emotionally cheating on his BF and calculatedly sizing up the people he wanted to make friends with.

!!! Why would he post that?! I seriously don't understand. It's basically saying "look how I'm manipulating you".

Because he takes joy in the deception. He revels in it, and on top of that, he's also a terrible braggart. The DAYDian hiker said he used to brag about manipulating people fairly regularly.

I'm amazed he would show it to Abbey when she was with him, though. Her name is on that list. That's how fucking brazen he is, and yes, it boggles the mind.

He didn't post it, exactly. It was part of some writing project he was doing when he and Abbey were together, and she posted it on her blog later. I think.

Also, if I understand correctly, he basically parsed it to Abbey as "This is how evil "Amy" was. Amy who is now dead; I am Jordan/Frodo and would never do this to you."

Yeah, I'm pretty sure that the only reason we've ever seen that particular piece of writing is that somehow or the other Abbey wound up with it after she got away. And she wanted people to know how calculating and targeted he could be.

That's not the thought patterns of someone in the throes of disorganized psychosis, that's the thought pattern of someone who's completely aware of what they're doing.

Yeah, the term is overused, but that's real sociopathy right there.

YO WHAT SERIOUSLY?

*rereads*

Jesus fuck.

It's interesting that "Maura/Frodo" has full access to Andy's thoughts, motivations and memories here, which violates the rules of his channeling as I understood them. Andy routinely claims to have lost large chunks of time channeling other people, originally because he was those people and his consciousness was MIA. Later, he attributes this to "blackouts" or some kind of dissociation. This was his explanation as recently as ten months ago:

http://andythanfiction.tumblr.com/post/86490759067/do-you-really-have-a-cult-like-that-tumblr-post

What I did then - When I was receiving messages from other dimensions or channeling spirits/characters, I often had extended blackouts or periods of memory loss. Rather than taking this as the massive fucking warning sign it was, I recruited friends to act as aids. One of them had to be with me at all times, practically 24/7/365 in case I “had a knock” and they were responsible for supervising the episode and then letting me know exactly what happened.

So if these personalities/alters left no trace of their activities in Andy's memory, why is it that they have access to his memories and thoughts? Andy wasn't actually channeling hobbits Frodo before he met Abbey, so "Frodo" should have no memory of Andy's relationship with Adrian, as I understand it. Huh, it's almost like Frodo actually IS Andy and can remember his relationship with Adrian because they're the same individual.

Also, when the fuck did Andy decide to start claiming "that this was part of a divine higher plan or purpose for which I had been chosen by God" as part of his delusions? I don't remember Abbey ever mentioning that Andy claimed to be on a mission from the Christian God specifically.

Remember when Andy found God again, which helped him redeem himself from his problems?

http://tf-talk.dreamwidth.org/600.html?thread=33624#cmt33624

I have re-connected with my family, moved away from Hollywood, have and intend to have in the future no contact with any fandom of any kind, re-discovered God, changed my name, come to terms with myself as a transgender man, and am now seeking both gender reassignment surgery, normal employment, and a normal, healthy life.

http://tf-talk.dreamwidth.org/600.html?thread=33880#cmt33880

I had already become a Christian again over the course of my therapy, once I knew that I was just another example of God's infinite diversity and not some terrible creature, but at the border, it seemed like He was speaking to me.

****You can't run. You can change, and you have changed, you can grow up, and you have grown up, you can mature, and you have matured, and you can go on to live a normal life, but you must deal with what you have done in the past. I may be able to wipe your sins clean as though they never happened, but that does not absolve you of needing to face those you sinned against.*****

Of course, I'm sure Andy would disown this apology as more lies he told trying to protect himself from the government labs or whatever bullshit is his excuse de jour.

Funny that "Andy Blake" (the magical alter version) didn't have any memories of his life as Amy when "she" emailed Carlanime and begged her not to tell "Andy" about Amy's (his crazy sister!) life.

Actually, I find it notable that Andy is still willing to "be" Amy Player at all. Goes to show you he'll do just about anything in the name of spinning and lying.

If this sounds confusing to anyone else, it's not just you.

http://tf-talk.dreamwidth.org/600.html?thread=34392#cmt34392

And here is this man, this GOOD man, making good things out of the rubble of my life and he has a circle of friends who love him, whom he loves, and who depend on him. So I gave him my life. Sydney Carton: It is a far far better thing and all that.

I had learned during the 2003-2007 span that I could plant triggers - nothing complicated - like post-hypnotic suggestions that would cause me to be yanked back. Very similar to the "If I say chicken fricassee, you’ll wake up,” stuff of movies. He’s aware of the wank and it doesn’t really bother him because hey, it’s all about his sister and he’s got a thick skin, good sense of humor, strong sense of perspective, and a lot of self-esteem. But if it gets really serious about my past vs what he knows as his, it triggers chicken fricassee, I deal with it, and he just has a blank space. And he’s resourceful and has good friends and works around them. As far as he knows, he just has occasional blackouts, possibly from the multiple concussions (which my body DOES carry).

He has no idea of all this, really. And I don’t want him to. He’s the man you’re friends with, but I’m the one trying to shield him from the mess I made before he came along. It’s why I never respond publicly to the wank, why I never say anything about it anywhere other than email boxes where I can delete the correspondence as it’s read and he never has to know. Please, take him as he is. Take me for whatever you want to. Hate me, throw me to the wolves, whatever, but please know that I’m not going to see him destroyed by this. If you do choose the wolves, I’ll find a way to make it look like someone else sent the email. I’ll spin whatever I have to spin, and he’ll believe it, because hey, he KNOWS his own past and life, and he has no reason to doubt them. He’s a good, good person, whether he’s a manifestation, spirit, ghost, alter, other, dissociation, or whatever else. It doesn’t matter. I’ve decided to let him live. Please do the same.

I’ll be waiting for your reply and then this whole thing is getting deleted from the email. I’ve tried to be comprehensive, but it’s a lot, and like I said, I don’t carry on about it in public.

Regards
Legally, Andrew Blake, but not Thanfiction

This should make it more than clear (if it wasn't abundantly clear already) that Andy's claims of lost time and blackouts are bullshit. You can't "chicken fricassee" yourself of a schizoid delusion like some magic show hypnotist.

You can't "chicken fricassee" yourself of a schizoid delusion like some magic show hypnotist.

May I just say that this is one of the most lovely turn of phrases I have read in a long time. I want to take it and nurture it and raise it right.

Bravo nonny Bravo

+1

I'd always read that segment as little personality synopsis of the women he was marking, not the personality traits he was presenting to appeal to the women he was marking, and fucking hell it was creepy enough to read with just that first reading. But now I fully understand? Wow. Just wow.

I'm reminded of the time my obsessive ex-boyfriend upon finding out my the new net-name and reading my OKCupid profile (which I had to save test results, I wasn't dating) added many of the same films, TV programmes and interests to his Myspace page to make it appear we had to much in common when he approached me on Myspace pretending to be a stranger. Fortunately I already knew he was behind that particular account so I was able to call him out when he tried it, but it's always galling to see those same kind of tactics being used by the same kind of people.

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