It’s Brittany’s birthday in three days and most of her important things including Gorilla were lost in the box with all my important things and I’ve utterly failed at producing the content I promised for my own ‘verse that hardly anyone even reads any more because I’m so bad about it or even functioning and I just gave oral in a WalMart parking lot to someone I could hardly stand to look who stank and oozed stuff under their gut fold and thought I was sixteen because I didn’t feel worth saying no and I’m so broke my phone’s been cut off because my friend’s in a bad place too and I gave her all my money and both my last childhood cats died in the past few months and I just saw that some time last night my fish died too and I don’t even know why that matters so much but now I can’t do GISHWHES or go to a Convention and try to meet Misha now because I’ve been told his people and Creation have been told I’m going to try to scam them or some shit and my sister is here so I have to smile and lick whatever shit she dishes out or cause Family Drama and I’m trying to at the very least still produce clever meta for SPN but I’m not even finding the words for that and please, I’m a person, ok? Contrary to rumor, I do have motherfucking feelings. I know what compassion is. I give it. I live by it. Can I just please have some for this once and beg you to please fucking back off for a day or two? I’m not leaving. You can’t hurt me away. I’m stronger than that. But you can win enough to make me beg you for a fucking break. I hope that makes you feel good inside and proud of yourself.
Tagged: and I know this will be passed around the wank groups, and mocked and laughed at and ridiculed, and used as proof of my latest whatever, and what a manipulative cunt I am, and what an awful person who doesn't deserve to share oxygen with them, and I don't even care any more.
Remember when I said I had a big problem with no? Yeah. So maybe I just got home from having spent the night with someone I wasn’t even remotely attracted to and just met and wasn’t even meaning to so much as talk to and don’t ever intend to see again, having made them feel like they were some kind of sex deity because I couldn’t bear to say no when they started flirting with me…because I felt too guilty about how behind I am on my fanfic obligations and the fact that my cell phone is off until I get my next paycheck so I can’t call my friend when she’s sad. Did I mention I have issues with saying no? And kind of a history of being a slut because of it and because of how it makes me feel like I can validate someone and do something nice for them if I can make them feel physical pleasure? Because it’s a problem when you hook up with someone you met at WalMart while out to get almond milk. *facepalm*
So you were just in Walmart with a carton of almond milk and some fugly dude comes up and is like "hey, you look 16, suck my cock?" and you're like "OMG, I can't say no!" Yeah, cool story, bro. Happens to me all the time. Anonymous Or I was at Walmart with a carton of almond milk and a woman asked me if I was vegetarian. I said no, but I was pretty knowledgeable about milk substitutes, why? She thought she might be lactose sensitive and was trying to cut out dairy, but soy milk tasted weird to her. Grassy. We discussed nut milks and rice milks, and she apologized for keeping me so long. I said it was ok, all I’m really going home to is a blog and a pile of things I’m procrastinating. She said she knew how that felt, minus the blog. No one would be interested in what she had to say. I said that wasn’t true. For example, I was going to buy her a cup of coffee right now at the in-Walmart McDonalds to hear what she had to say. She said it was cute, but my mother would be missing me, and was it sad that the first man to offer to buy her a drink was a 16 year old boy? I said I was pretty much double that, and there were many more important things to judge herself on, like that it mattered to her whether it would bother my Mom. We talked a long, long time. About what is not your business. She felt unwantable, like there was no point in trying to improve anything in her life because she’d never be someone who someone else could desire, and that she’d just gone in all the wrong directions and wasted too much time and now she was a useless failure marking time. I wanted to make her feel like she mattered. I made poor choices as to how. Happens to me all the time.
Woman in the Walmart parking lot
http://andythanfiction.tumblr.com/post/45518493531/its-brittanys-birthday-in-three-days-and-most-of
It’s Brittany’s birthday in three days and most of her important things including Gorilla were lost in the box with all my important things and I’ve utterly failed at producing the content I promised for my own ‘verse that hardly anyone even reads any more because I’m so bad about it or even functioning and I just gave oral in a WalMart parking lot to someone I could hardly stand to look who stank and oozed stuff under their gut fold and thought I was sixteen because I didn’t feel worth saying no and I’m so broke my phone’s been cut off because my friend’s in a bad place too and I gave her all my money and both my last childhood cats died in the past few months and I just saw that some time last night my fish died too and I don’t even know why that matters so much but now I can’t do GISHWHES or go to a Convention and try to meet Misha now because I’ve been told his people and Creation have been told I’m going to try to scam them or some shit and my sister is here so I have to smile and lick whatever shit she dishes out or cause Family Drama and I’m trying to at the very least still produce clever meta for SPN but I’m not even finding the words for that and please, I’m a person, ok? Contrary to rumor, I do have motherfucking feelings. I know what compassion is. I give it. I live by it. Can I just please have some for this once and beg you to please fucking back off for a day or two? I’m not leaving. You can’t hurt me away. I’m stronger than that. But you can win enough to make me beg you for a fucking break. I hope that makes you feel good inside and proud of yourself.
Tagged: and I know this will be passed around the wank groups, and mocked and laughed at and ridiculed, and used as proof of my latest whatever, and what a manipulative cunt I am, and what an awful person who doesn't deserve to share oxygen with them, and I don't even care any more.
http://andythanfiction.tumblr.com/post/45489008828/remember-when-i-said-i-had-a-big-problem-with-no
Remember when I said I had a big problem with no? Yeah. So maybe I just got home from having spent the night with someone I wasn’t even remotely attracted to and just met and wasn’t even meaning to so much as talk to and don’t ever intend to see again, having made them feel like they were some kind of sex deity because I couldn’t bear to say no when they started flirting with me…because I felt too guilty about how behind I am on my fanfic obligations and the fact that my cell phone is off until I get my next paycheck so I can’t call my friend when she’s sad.
Did I mention I have issues with saying no? And kind of a history of being a slut because of it and because of how it makes me feel like I can validate someone and do something nice for them if I can make them feel physical pleasure?
Because it’s a problem when you hook up with someone you met at WalMart while out to get almond milk.
*facepalm*
http://andythanfiction.tumblr.com/post/45611634874/so-you-were-just-in-walmart-with-a-carton-of
So you were just in Walmart with a carton of almond milk and some fugly dude comes up and is like "hey, you look 16, suck my cock?" and you're like "OMG, I can't say no!" Yeah, cool story, bro. Happens to me all the time.
Anonymous
Or I was at Walmart with a carton of almond milk and a woman asked me if I was vegetarian. I said no, but I was pretty knowledgeable about milk substitutes, why? She thought she might be lactose sensitive and was trying to cut out dairy, but soy milk tasted weird to her. Grassy. We discussed nut milks and rice milks, and she apologized for keeping me so long. I said it was ok, all I’m really going home to is a blog and a pile of things I’m procrastinating. She said she knew how that felt, minus the blog. No one would be interested in what she had to say. I said that wasn’t true. For example, I was going to buy her a cup of coffee right now at the in-Walmart McDonalds to hear what she had to say. She said it was cute, but my mother would be missing me, and was it sad that the first man to offer to buy her a drink was a 16 year old boy? I said I was pretty much double that, and there were many more important things to judge herself on, like that it mattered to her whether it would bother my Mom. We talked a long, long time. About what is not your business. She felt unwantable, like there was no point in trying to improve anything in her life because she’d never be someone who someone else could desire, and that she’d just gone in all the wrong directions and wasted too much time and now she was a useless failure marking time. I wanted to make her feel like she mattered. I made poor choices as to how.
Happens to me all the time.