tf_talk | Gloves Off

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Gloves Off

Please use this post for discussion of those contentious, murky, triggering issues too complex to discuss/moderate on the main post.

Note that this post is NOT a free-for-all and will still be modded for slurs, namecalling, doxxing and trolling. But fair warning that it will not be moderated for discussion of issues some find triggering (trans issues, mental illness, etc.) and that if you choose to participate here, you do so at your own risk.

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Putting this here because it is pure speculation and I have no degree in mental health although I have gone through the broken system here in the US that is laughingly called mental heath care (according to my insurance company that also puts limits on the number of visits needed and who I can see but that's another rant)

Thanks to Abbey we have a clearer idea of what Andy has really be diagnosed with in the past from a real doctor than from some undead shaman.

How much of Andy's rewriting of his past is trying to re-invent himself into something that he can live with?

It seems every story about his 'real' past that he tells is shaped to make him look like the greatest thing since sliced bread. One must admire how well he can (fill in the blank) which is AMAZING since he has never or not done much with (fill in the blank).

The fact he has no basic knowledge in cooking surprises me not at all. He wants to skip the hard part and get onto the fun part (Like learning latin which is two years of suck before it becomes fun).

And that seems to be his attitude about working on/with anything. He wants to skip the part where he learns how to do the task( the boring part like how to re-enforce seams and how to build a pattern with seam allowance so that things move correctly) and move onto what he sees as the amazing part.

He seems to project onto others that which he loathes about himself. He must be a straight white male who has taken on all the traits and privileges that come with being a SWM so he 'apologizes' for being too manly because he doesn't understand what it is to be (fill in the blank of whatever he is trying to belittle or damn with faint praise). So trans people are not real people. Women are stupid and must be lead. Not even going into his views on POC because that's the one thing he can't lay claim to but I find it disturbing.

Everything he dumps on the hardest is something that he has been in the past.

And the only way he can make himself feel better is by tearing down any and all that might be doing better than him which happens to be most of the rest of us.

It's sad but I honestly feel no sympathy for someone who refused to see what they have done to others because in their version of reality, they did no wrong and the other party either did them wrong or didn't understand what was being done for/to them. (Gaslighting at its finest.)

i think it's two sides of the same coin when it comes to andy, really. i am not sure about the exact depth and shape of any self-loathing he possesses, but it makes sense that the monument of his narcissistic ego could have a long shadow.

Enh, I dunno if this is ANDY, but I have sorta known another really hardcore narcissist, and followed them for a long time (at a safe, far distance).

And something that struck me about him was how, underneath the grandiosity and pompousness and the grandstanding... there seemed to be this deep inchoate terror and dread, just below the surface. It was like this guy was running, running, running, constantly trying to fill this enormous void within himself with the Greatest Most Important Things Ever, because he couldn't bear to admit that he was a vaccuum, a hollow, empty man.

I don't think he was consciously AWARE of this, I want to emphasize that. But as I watched him dash back and forth like a demented beaver on acid, constantly trying to be the most important thing since sliced bread... I found it pathetic. The man was dangerous and terrifying and hurt so many people, and I found myself realizing that he had done so many awful things, and for what? He couldn't even truly ENJOY it, it seemed like.

Like, oh sure, he'd get some brief transitory pleasure at tearing down anyone who criticized him (threatened that superficial surface layer of perfection)... but it was like on some level, he raged so hard because THEY SCARED HIM SO BADLY. On some level, somewhere he'd never look or admit to, he knew they were right, and THAT'S why he'd go completely fucking apeshit if you told him his fanfiction wasn't Shakespeare. Because it threatened that fragile, paper-thin mask of perfection that he needed to believe existed.

His obsessive need to be constantly 100% perfect 100% of the time doomed him to eternal mediocrity, because he could never finish anything, never achieve anything of substance, never LEARN anything. He's middle-aged now, and he still acts and creates work on par of a gifted teenager.

I think that he's a dangerous, terrible person I never want to know. But I also think that he lives in a special hell of his own making that I am glad never to know. And he is never, ever going to escape it.

Now, if he could just stop destroying everybody around him in his constant need to outrun that hell, that'd be awesome, but that's the least probable thing of all.

Well-put. Thanks, Anon!

AYRT

Thanks! Yeah, it's a weird feeling. Like I said, I find this guy totally reprehensible... but at the same time I kind of pity him, because the things that probably torment him are things I'll never have to worry about. It's like knowing there's somebody who's deeply, existentially afraid of washing dishes, but will never admit it and instead do all these horrible things PURELY to avoid ever having to wash a single fucking dish in their life. Sure, it's ugly and awful... but I never, EVER have even CONSIDERED having my life run by dish-washing.

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Gloves Off

Andy and self-loathing?

Re: Andy and self-loathing?

Re: Andy and self-loathing?

Re: Andy and self-loathing?

Re: Andy and self-loathing?