such abusers will fight to help you reach your dreams, that part is right. The abusive part comes *before* that, when they tell you what your dreams should be, and how you should want this instead of that, and they're only telling you because they care about you and they want you to be the best and happiest you can be, don't you see? Of course, "your" dreams are susceptible to change whenever it fits *them*, but they make it seem so logical, so obvious! You feel extremely *lucky* to have them to guide you, because it's obvious you could never manage as well or at all on your own (It's not like the constant passive-aggressive micro-aggressions and hidden put-downs help with that belief either.)

....ugh, flashback to my own upbringing with parents who constantly told me "We would do anything for you! You can do anything you want! as long as it's within these completely specific and simultaneously arbitrary guidelines we'll change whenever we feel like," etc. etc. It's striking seeing how universal a lot of these tactics are.