I know this is an old thread, but I can't help responding. FWIW, I'm a longtime lurker, as Andy lives fairly close by, and I was close to a member of "the posse"--she's no longer in it, but I can tell you she is STILL not the same close to 2 yrs after leaving his "orbit" (her word, not mine.) Andy completely freaks me out. He actually scares me. Not just "skeeves out" but "frightens."
I'm also quite a bit older. My first husband died 16 months after we married; my second husband, whom I divorced 23 years ago, died about five years ago from cancer, in his late forties. It's been 26 years since my first husband died and I will never *stop* missing him (and wondering what might have been.) My ex and I couldn't live together, but we stayed friends, talked, and traded gossip :) My husband and son are very good about "anniversaries" and such. I know when I talk about my first husband, it's my "beloved late husband." It doesn't mean I love my husband any less and I don't know anyone who takes it that way. My ex-husband is usually "my late good friend" since that seems more accurate. I'd never say "still" and that goes for other relatives I've lost. Yes, I've moved on. I've forgotten anniversaries, and even on them I'm not thinking of them 24/7.
Personally, I agree w. the nonny who thinks Andy is simultaneously giving "hope" to someone that he may love again, while also invoking the image of a perfect woman who made him tea & gave footrubs. (The image of someone giving Andy a footrub makes me want to puke.) In other words, a "get out of jail free" card. Now, I'm not saying Brittany was not a wonderful girl, but since he still has her "eulogy" up on his FB page, he does give one the idea that Brittany was so perfect that *no one* will ever measure up. So he's now got a card to play in any future relationship--does this make sense? After reading the eulogy, almost any girl he comes into contact with is going to feel less in comparison, try to do more & be more, and definitely give him more leeway. Because of the tragedy. He gets woobie points w/o having to do anything but invoke the image of poor Brittany.
I hope I haven't offended anyone--Brittany's death was a tragedy, certainly, but knowing what I do of Andy, I really question how much he *felt* the tragedy. If that makes sense...I'd better stop.
Re: TW mi/suicide
I'm also quite a bit older. My first husband died 16 months after we married; my second husband, whom I divorced 23 years ago, died about five years ago from cancer, in his late forties. It's been 26 years since my first husband died and I will never *stop* missing him (and wondering what might have been.) My ex and I couldn't live together, but we stayed friends, talked, and traded gossip :) My husband and son are very good about "anniversaries" and such. I know when I talk about my first husband, it's my "beloved late husband." It doesn't mean I love my husband any less and I don't know anyone who takes it that way. My ex-husband is usually "my late good friend" since that seems more accurate. I'd never say "still" and that goes for other relatives I've lost. Yes, I've moved on. I've forgotten anniversaries, and even on them I'm not thinking of them 24/7.
Personally, I agree w. the nonny who thinks Andy is simultaneously giving "hope" to someone that he may love again, while also invoking the image of a perfect woman who made him tea & gave footrubs. (The image of someone giving Andy a footrub makes me want to puke.) In other words, a "get out of jail free" card. Now, I'm not saying Brittany was not a wonderful girl, but since he still has her "eulogy" up on his FB page, he does give one the idea that Brittany was so perfect that *no one* will ever measure up. So he's now got a card to play in any future relationship--does this make sense? After reading the eulogy, almost any girl he comes into contact with is going to feel less in comparison, try to do more & be more, and definitely give him more leeway. Because of the tragedy. He gets woobie points w/o having to do anything but invoke the image of poor Brittany.
I hope I haven't offended anyone--Brittany's death was a tragedy, certainly, but knowing what I do of Andy, I really question how much he *felt* the tragedy. If that makes sense...I'd better stop.