I’m so glad you’re not all here, because I’m in a really friendly mood and I would probably make out with most of you. Which would be bad because a lot of you are underage and I’m like half again older than of age even if I don’t look it. So there would be jail. I would probably even be willing to try making out with some of the boys if they were pretty because it’s like, you don’t have to be sexually attracted to someone for making out to be fun expecially if you’re drunk and they’re pretty, and I’ve gotten a lot more relaxed about omg would that make me gay since being around fandom.

ETA: I’m glad I’m not a fictional character because if an andro-pretty fictional boy said that on Tumblr there’d be like planetary levels of shipping inside of ten minutes. If I were fictional, I’d come back sober and find out I’d been shipped with chairs and grapefruit and my entire follower list. One at a time and in groups. Even the dead frog. AND WHY DOESN’T THE DEAD FROG HAVE A TUMBLR YET, HUH, KAREN? DON’T YOU LOVE HIM ANY MORE! BECAUSE I DO! I LOVE EVERYONE!