[name redacted] I’m not going to change my statement.
He may not have been a minor (the cut off on that changes from place to place), but he was a teenager. And Abbey (nice to meet you) you were not, correct? You were an adult by every legal definition.
And you met this kid online, and you believed him when he told you that he was speaking to elves?
So... how did he wield such power over you, that you were the sole victim and he the sole abuser, there?
I’m not denying Andy was behaving in a manner that was clearly toxic to himself and everyone around him. He’s not denying that, either.
But why didn’t you stop it? Why didn’t you say, “Honey, elves aren’t real and you can’t talk to Dead movie stars”?
Why would you put your trust in someone who told you they are and he could? Especially a teenager?? I mean... the baseline of teenagers is “batshit crazy” to begin with.
Yeah, Andy was a walking disaster area. But, by all accounts, you contributed to that. And yet all I see is you and Molly and “tea blogger” putting all the blame on a mentally ill teenager who, instead of getting the help and boundaries and support he needed, was enabled and encouraged by you. And then handed the sole blame for the fallout.
It seems to me that the main reason Andy has been cast as the villain in all this is that you got your story out first. And he’s bought into it, too. He thinks it was all his fault, too.
But I think you are a lot more responsible than you’re acknowledging, and I think this whole thing has gone on too long, and has been built on shadows of shadows of itself.
Molly has reported Andy doing nothing more than making her feel uncomfortable and not cleaning up after himself. Which makes him a crappy houseguest, but does not make him a sociopath. But because you guys have built an entire subculture around vilifying him, suddenly everything he does is ramped up to “dangerous”. And anyone who likes him or defends him has been “brainwashed”.
Which is kind of insulting, btw. Just because you chose to follow his mentally ill fantasy paths doesn’t mean I would. Or Chris would. Or Meg would. Most adults know the difference between reality and fantasy.
Andy hasn’t brainwashed me. I don’t even know him. But he told me his story. And I read the accounts from news articles and from the teablogger’s blog. And they all draw a pretty strange picture.
Mostly what I see is a bunch of fandom geeks (and, Hey, I’m one, too) getting waaaay too wrapped up in their fandoms, and deciding it would be more fun to pretend that fiction is real than grow up. And all you lost boys chose Andy as your Peter Pan and followed him to Neverland.
And maybe he did lead the way. But you chose to follow him. And you were the adult. And he was the kid.
Now he’s trying to rebuild his life, in a world where people don’t believe in elves. He’s not telling anyone he has super powers. He’s not telling anyone he can communicate with other dimensions. He’s not trying to run massive events he has no qualifications to do (and who spends $15K of their own money without a contract?? Seriously, people!!). He’s just trying to get a job and live his life. Leave him alone to do it, please.
Holy victim blaming, Batman!
He may not have been a minor (the cut off on that changes from place to place), but he was a teenager. And Abbey (nice to meet you) you were not, correct? You were an adult by every legal definition.
And you met this kid online, and you believed him when he told you that he was speaking to elves?
So... how did he wield such power over you, that you were the sole victim and he the sole abuser, there?
I’m not denying Andy was behaving in a manner that was clearly toxic to himself and everyone around him. He’s not denying that, either.
But why didn’t you stop it? Why didn’t you say, “Honey, elves aren’t real and you can’t talk to Dead movie stars”?
Why would you put your trust in someone who told you they are and he could? Especially a teenager?? I mean... the baseline of teenagers is “batshit crazy” to begin with.
Yeah, Andy was a walking disaster area. But, by all accounts, you contributed to that. And yet all I see is you and Molly and “tea blogger” putting all the blame on a mentally ill teenager who, instead of getting the help and boundaries and support he needed, was enabled and encouraged by you. And then handed the sole blame for the fallout.
It seems to me that the main reason Andy has been cast as the villain in all this is that you got your story out first. And he’s bought into it, too. He thinks it was all his fault, too.
But I think you are a lot more responsible than you’re acknowledging, and I think this whole thing has gone on too long, and has been built on shadows of shadows of itself.
Molly has reported Andy doing nothing more than making her feel uncomfortable and not cleaning up after himself. Which makes him a crappy houseguest, but does not make him a sociopath. But because you guys have built an entire subculture around vilifying him, suddenly everything he does is ramped up to “dangerous”. And anyone who likes him or defends him has been “brainwashed”.
Which is kind of insulting, btw. Just because you chose to follow his mentally ill fantasy paths doesn’t mean I would. Or Chris would. Or Meg would. Most adults know the difference between reality and fantasy.
Andy hasn’t brainwashed me. I don’t even know him. But he told me his story. And I read the accounts from news articles and from the teablogger’s blog. And they all draw a pretty strange picture.
Mostly what I see is a bunch of fandom geeks (and, Hey, I’m one, too) getting waaaay too wrapped up in their fandoms, and deciding it would be more fun to pretend that fiction is real than grow up. And all you lost boys chose Andy as your Peter Pan and followed him to Neverland.
And maybe he did lead the way. But you chose to follow him. And you were the adult. And he was the kid.
Now he’s trying to rebuild his life, in a world where people don’t believe in elves. He’s not telling anyone he has super powers. He’s not telling anyone he can communicate with other dimensions. He’s not trying to run massive events he has no qualifications to do (and who spends $15K of their own money without a contract?? Seriously, people!!). He’s just trying to get a job and live his life.
Leave him alone to do it, please.