tf_talk | continued Thatfucker discussion

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continued Thatfucker discussion

Since we've been kicked off FFA for the week, please feel free to continue the anon discussion here. Apologies if this is a big flop - I've never made a DW community before!

The rules are vaguely the same as they are over on FFA. Please refrain from being too much of an asshole, making personal attacks, posting identifying information or engaging in transfail.

ETA: If there's information you'd like to see archived (journal/blog posts related to Andy, etc.), please dump it here and link to it from the main post for discussing.

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http://tf-talk.dreamwidth.org/600.html?thread=367192#cmt367192

Ewwww.

I love how this is someone else's job, not his, even though he "knows women are people, not causes."

The subtext I got from it was, "I'm mentally ill and I can't be expected to control myself, so I do this crazy thing/attempt to start a relationship with you, it's your responsibility to make the right choice for me."

The subtext I'm getting is, "I'm laying groundwork so the next relationship I fuck up won't be blamed on me."

That, and it's a handy excuse for playing up romantic/sexual tension to keep a mark on the hook without having to follow through.

it actually makes it easier to keep someone on the hook--his preferred demographic is young girls who are likely to think that they can "fix" him with the strength of their love

it's just more tortured "look at my manpain" posturing meant to draw the young and naive in

Ahh, yes. "I warned you! I told you I wasn't in a healthy place!"

*insert vague, weasel-wordy statements that imply Andy was victimized by his partner*

"Hiding in plain sight" indeed.

He could hardly make his message clearer: "Hey, lady friends? I'm going to be messing with some of you in the coming months. I'm going to flirt with you. I'm going to make you fall for me, or if you're already infatuated with me, I'm going to pretend to reciprocate. And then when I've got you wrapped around my finger, I'm going to push you away, maybe even cut you out of my life altogether. And when that happens, I'll point back to this post and blame *you* for hurting *me*."

This is another typical Andy Catch-22. The ONLY way for any of his female friends to protect themselves when he posted that, was to immediately cut off all contact with him. But of course, if anyone did that, then he got to play the victim, to be the poor woobie who was cruelly abandoned by an evil, selfish woman when he showed some vulnerability.

His female friends had *already* lost the battle, simply with him making that post. As horrifying as it is genius.

He's also humblebragging. "Oh, my biggest flaw in relationships is that I'm just ~too selfless~."

Yeah fucking right.

As if Andy would ever buy anyone a car. Pfffft.

Yeah, Andy's generosity seems to extend as far as putting out calls for other people to donate on his blog, and sometimes giving his followers his crummy artwork.

I know Abbey said he does people favors in order to have them in his debt, though.

"all of my relationships have been this kind of goddamn it if need be I will force you to let me serve you and sacrifice myself for your dreams because I’ve had tremendous self-confidence and almost no self-worth and believed no matter how awesome I may be, I only have value and can only earn existing via what I can do for others."

Bold mine. Wow. I don't even know where to start.

I'm going to have to ask what part of Abbey's "dream" or life goals involved a dangerous trek through a blizzard or cutting off contact with her family or watching Andy neglect an animal to death while threatening another.

But those were sacrifices. SACRIFICES! He was sacrificing himself!

I don't even understand how he says this stuff out loud, let alone writing it down for posterity.

I've been on the receiving end of such "sacrifice". I obviously won't speak for Abbey, but back when I was in that position, I was very much convinced that such hardships were indeed necessary for me to get to a place where I would be happy, and I was beyond grateful to my abuser to be willing to suffer so much to help me reach my goals.

Andy is telling the twisted truth: such abusers will fight to help you reach your dreams, that part is right. The abusive part comes *before* that, when they tell you what your dreams should be, and how you should want this instead of that, and they're only telling you because they care about you and they want you to be the best and happiest you can be, don't you see? Of course, "your" dreams are susceptible to change whenever it fits *them*, but they make it seem so logical, so obvious! You feel extremely *lucky* to have them to guide you, because it's obvious you could never manage as well or at all on your own (It's not like the constant passive-aggressive micro-aggressions and hidden put-downs help with that belief either.)

Uh, yeah. This, full on.

-KQ

such abusers will fight to help you reach your dreams, that part is right. The abusive part comes *before* that, when they tell you what your dreams should be, and how you should want this instead of that, and they're only telling you because they care about you and they want you to be the best and happiest you can be, don't you see? Of course, "your" dreams are susceptible to change whenever it fits *them*, but they make it seem so logical, so obvious! You feel extremely *lucky* to have them to guide you, because it's obvious you could never manage as well or at all on your own (It's not like the constant passive-aggressive micro-aggressions and hidden put-downs help with that belief either.)

....ugh, flashback to my own upbringing with parents who constantly told me "We would do anything for you! You can do anything you want! as long as it's within these completely specific and simultaneously arbitrary guidelines we'll change whenever we feel like," etc. etc. It's striking seeing how universal a lot of these tactics are.

Dude thinks he's Jareth.

Pffft, Andy wishes he had that kind of swag.

http://andythanfiction.tumblr.com/post/67766300101/capitol-couture-marvelous-mockingjay-costume

Costume cost: $0.00
Time: 1 hour, 15 minutes

Uh, yeah! KIND OF LOOKS IT

Oh God, yes.

"I ask for so little. Just fear me, love me, do as I say and I will be your slave."

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