tf_talk | continued Thatfucker discussion

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continued Thatfucker discussion

Since we've been kicked off FFA for the week, please feel free to continue the anon discussion here. Apologies if this is a big flop - I've never made a DW community before!

The rules are vaguely the same as they are over on FFA. Please refrain from being too much of an asshole, making personal attacks, posting identifying information or engaging in transfail.

ETA: If there's information you'd like to see archived (journal/blog posts related to Andy, etc.), please dump it here and link to it from the main post for discussing.

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What weirds me out is the "still much loved" part. It directly implies that he might stop loving her someday, or that he could have already done so but it hasn't happened yet. Maybe I'm the odd one out here, but I'll never stop loving the people I loved and who died. I would never phrase it as "I still love them", because I will *always* love them, you know? It's just a small thing, I know, but it freaks me out.

DA

Yeah, it's the "still" here that is strange.

AYRT

Yes, you're right. It's really just that word which is out of place. Without it, the sentence sounds completely normal: "RIP, my special and much loved friend."

So now I wonder why he put the "still" in, and that takes me to the same kind of place as the other anon who wonders who the intended audience for that post is, and it gives me chills.

I get the sense that Andy is one of those who believes that a person can only truly love (in the romantic sense) one person at a time. When he is in love with someone else, he cannot "still" love Brittany.

Maybe he's trying to seduce someone. Sure, he "still" very much loves Brittany, but look! He forgot about her anniversary! He calls her a friend, albeit a "still much loved" one! There's hope he might love again!

You mean when he *pretends* to be in love, right? I don't think he's ever been in love with anyone, and he wasn't Brittany's romantic partner.

I agree with the rest of your comment. He's made several posts about how he's not boyfriend material, how he's still got loads of things to deal with, how women have to stay away from him, even refuse him if he comes onto them. And then he makes a post like this one, where he seems to be moving on from Brittany.

I don't know if he's targeting anyone in particular, but we know he played with the hearts of Meg and Dana at the very least. I think it was just friendship with Dana (most likely because she was a minor), but we know there was romantic/sexual tension with Meg. I really hope he's not taking her on another round of this sick game.

AYRT

Yes, that is what I meant. I'll try to make use of the /s tag more often I guess!

He flirted with Dana plenty. Keep in mind, though, that this a man who talks about "flirting" with two-year old girls. He pretends not to ascribe much meaning to it, but I suspect he knows damn well when his friends are infatuated with him, and plays it up to reel them in.

Keep in mind, though, that this a man who talks about "flirting" with two-year old girls.

Is that supposed to make anything better? In my eyes, it only makes everything *worse*. Andy Blake is a sexual abuser, who has admitted to having crossed the boundaries of appropriate sexual behavior with several girls and women. In this context, and in my eyes at least, his talking of flirting with two-year old girls is not cute, and it doesn't establish that he uses the word "flirting" to mean innocent interactions, as he probably hopes it does. Quite the contrary, in fact.

SA

No, it doesn't make it better. He think he admitted it to describe how flippant he is about the matter, because the default cultural assumption is if you're "flirting" with kids, it means nothing.

Honestly, I feel gross just typing "flirting with kids", though.

That said, I think in this case Andy is tone deaf and creepy. I don't think he's an actual sexual threat to children.

DA

You mean AYRT, nonnie!

Isn't SA "same anon"?

Yes, as in "same anon who made the post I'm replying to." It's not used frequently, usually just for typo corrections and such. It's basically "Edit:"

AYRT = "anon you replied to"
DA = "different anon" (used if you're serious about clarifying that you are NOT ayrt, usually to either +1 the other anon's point in a heated debate or chime in to offer a different perspective)
NA = "new anon" coming into the thread for the first time. Almost synonymous with DA, so this one is rarely used.

I wonder if we could put this in the post header?

I'll make sure it's added next post, if nothing else!

AYRT

That said, I think in this case Andy is tone deaf and creepy. I don't think he's an actual sexual threat to children.

Oh, I agree! I meant my comment in the same way you explain it: not that he's sexually dangerous to small children, but that his supposedly flippant comment comes accross as very creepy instead.

As for this SA/AYRT business: SA is what I would have used if I'd replied to my own comment, for example to clarify:

"SA

Uh, not that I'm saying he's a pedophile/child abuser or anything like that!"

Flirting with 2 year olds?!! Can someone explain the context for this?

From my admittedly poor memory:

Andy made a series of posts in which he listed people he'd flirt with but not fuck, including elderly people, trans people, and two year-old girls. Then gave an example of how he "flirted with a toddler". It got creepier (I think) when he made some statement to the effect that it meant nothing, but if things were different he might be interested in that same list of people.

If the kids were adults? If he was older? If he was attracted to trans people? I don't know what the hell he meant. It was really odd.

people he'd flirt with but not fuck, including elderly people, trans people, and two year-old girls.

Never have I been so happy to be trans!

(Seriously though why would you flirt with a two year old. I've babysat two year olds. WTF dude.)

Seriously though why would you flirt with a two year old.

Forget about "why", I'm stuck on "how". How do you flirt with a two year old?? The two year olds I know don't have even the most basic rudimentary understanding of sexual/romantic seduction necessary to engage in anything that could be called "flirting".

NA

I think it may be a regionalism? It's not an uncommon phrase in the south, to flirt with a baby, and it means when they're at the stage where they're captivated by strangers and also bashful. So maybe they're peeking at you from behind their parent and you make silly faces or whatever to make them smile.

I haven't read the post in question, I'm just saying, this seems like another example of him taking a normal thing and making it skeevy.

NAYRT I agree, I think that's a regionalism. I wouldn't use the word that way myself, but I have heard it, and in the context of "two year old" I would understand flirting to mean "putting on extra burst of charm to capture someone's attention in a non-sexual way." I have definitely also heard it used this way by and about elderly people, and have probably used it myself that way. (And I'm not a Southerner, even; there's just been some cultural creep at play.)

Re: memory

(Anonymous) - 2015-05-08 14:17 (UTC) - Expand

I'm from the midwest and my sister often describes my interactions with my nephew as us "flirting." What she describes as flirting is him thinking I'm cool and great so be becomes COMPLETELY FLUSTERED and excited when I look over and like, smile or wink at him. Seriously, if I look at him and smile, he'll just bury his face in his hands and giggle forever. (He's a toddler). It's perfectly harmless, and it weirded me out a little at first that my sis called it flirting, but once I realized she wasn't sexualizing our interactions it stopped bothering me.

But I also don't have a history of sexually abusing others. So yeah, I get that flirting is not intent to engage in sex and that the word can mean other things, but Andy making a point that he is not trying to have sex with two year olds makes me really uncomfortable. I don't think he's a pedophile but it feels really weird, especially considering Abbey's story about pumpkins.

There was also the roommate who he had to have the "just a friend" talk with. I doubt very much she spontaneously fell in love with him; I think he toyed with her emotions in exactly the same way he's done with Meg and Dana since.

That was the same flatmate that the DAYDian who did the Q&A on FFA talked about here:

"So I'd been living with him [Andy] for a while after ToT, and he just gradually got more and more unbearable. I'd been out from under him in my own head for months, like nearly a year but I was still kind of unwilling to call him on it because I didn't want to deal with it. Eventually though things came to a head. He'd done one of his routine attempts to drive a wedge between us and our other roommate [who was "in love" with Andy] by freaking out and pretending to want to move out on his own because they were so "triggering" or some such crap, and didn't get the reaction he'd wanted. A shrugged "so long then mate, good luck."

She was also the one who was left feeling suicidal after Andy cut off contact with her and she tried to talk to him through a series of anon asks which have been referred to somewhere on TF-talk, I just can't remember where atm.

He did a real number on her, poor thing.

SA

Sorry, I should specify that the text in square brackets are my additions.

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