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Does anyone know how long Andy has been smoking and when he switched to vaping?
I didn’t think he could get more annoying but all I can think is that some how he thinks this makes him look cool.
Not believe the IQ boast either Andy. You are screamingly average in all ways and you will die screamingly average.
I didn’t think he could get more annoying but all I can think is that some how he thinks this makes him look cool.
Not believe the IQ boast either Andy. You are screamingly average in all ways and you will die screamingly average.
To my knowledge he started smoking when he started claiming to be Elijah Wood. When he came to visit me in Oregon. So 2002 I think. No idea about switching to vaping tho.
-KQ
-KQ
teablogger did a new post:
http://theteablogger.tumblr.com/post/175056667612/i-can-sell-you-realities-some-of-you-may
This isn't funny, it's just kind of pathetic, especially the way the former landlady describes his antics. Reminds me of KQ's description of how he used to sob theatrically and then scold her mother for not 'checking up on him'; he has a reaction he wants and goes to the most childish method of getting it, rather than using an actual human connection.
http://theteablogger.tumblr.com/post/175056667612/i-can-sell-you-realities-some-of-you-may
This isn't funny, it's just kind of pathetic, especially the way the former landlady describes his antics. Reminds me of KQ's description of how he used to sob theatrically and then scold her mother for not 'checking up on him'; he has a reaction he wants and goes to the most childish method of getting it, rather than using an actual human connection.
I’m feeling the most uncomfortable mix of pity and horror right now.
About the only Good thing I can say for Andy is he sure makes me feel a lot better about myself and my problems. Jesus what a slimy, mendacious little rotten turtle penis
Me too. I hate when I feel pity for Andy, as he has destroyed about 2328 second chances.
He really seems mentally ill, but not in the way he tries to pretend to excuse his behavior. I do not understand a healthy adult who still acts like a 4 year old, pulling the same stupid stunts for attention. I don't know if a professional could help him until he admits to himself what he really is, which only he can really know.
He really seems mentally ill, but not in the way he tries to pretend to excuse his behavior. I do not understand a healthy adult who still acts like a 4 year old, pulling the same stupid stunts for attention. I don't know if a professional could help him until he admits to himself what he really is, which only he can really know.
man, when I first started reading the I'VE LOST EVERYTHING post, I was banking on it all being fake to try and manipulate those who stay aware of him...
but it's fucking real and it's all his own fucking fault. like, SERIOUSLY. reading the testimony of his host, it is MIND-BOGGLING how these narcissistic sociopaths just do not fucking change. that he could actually claim that they never gave him a chance when they'd been getting the heebies from his behaviour since the second he arrived. that the revelation absolutely lined up with the person they'd gotten to know.
and this story... this is beyond tragic. it's crazy hearing her side and how transparent he was the whole time. I have been following the antics of a similar personality in my country for about as long as andy, and it's incredible all the time how similar they both are - and how, after all this time, they are still so juvenile in their approaches, how nothing about them really changes. they just recycle the same old tricks, over and over.
I am also encouraged to see communities protecting themselves and the usefulness the documentation about andy has provided.
but it's fucking real and it's all his own fucking fault. like, SERIOUSLY. reading the testimony of his host, it is MIND-BOGGLING how these narcissistic sociopaths just do not fucking change. that he could actually claim that they never gave him a chance when they'd been getting the heebies from his behaviour since the second he arrived. that the revelation absolutely lined up with the person they'd gotten to know.
and this story... this is beyond tragic. it's crazy hearing her side and how transparent he was the whole time. I have been following the antics of a similar personality in my country for about as long as andy, and it's incredible all the time how similar they both are - and how, after all this time, they are still so juvenile in their approaches, how nothing about them really changes. they just recycle the same old tricks, over and over.
I am also encouraged to see communities protecting themselves and the usefulness the documentation about andy has provided.
He is mentally ill, he is seriously impaired. destroying trees for attention is pathetic, and there is… I’m not really entirely sure how to say this without sounding really ableist, but I think whatever mental issues he has going on, which probably include clinical sociopathy, are real, and severe, and are actively impairing him from living a normal life. I don’t think he’s capable of living independently. I’ve noticed that he gets a lot of shit on here for the kinds of squalor he routinely lives in, both in his own apartments and in the homes of people he’s living with, for having hygeine issues, etc— alot of the time these get presented as him expecting other people to take care of him, which I think is partially true, but some of the stuff is so extreme that it seems like a pathological inability to handle self care to me. So is the really fucked up, self-destructive way he went about going to Los Angeles —He had a paying job, he is working on a relevant degree, he could have rented a room somewhere. I find it hard to believe that his parents would’ve given him financial support to do this, including his Dad physically taking part in driving him out to California, if they didn’t think he had a stable living situation lined up, given the extreme instability and violence he’s dealt with whenever he’s been on the West Coast. But instead his plan was squatting in someone’s spare room for a week, plotting to stay there indefinitely while insulting her friends and being creepy, not pursuing alternate housing— a hair away from being homeless and living out of his car, which I think is the situation he’s in right now. The mix of NPD, ASPD, and whatever other neuro/psych issues he has going on make him a danger both to other people and, frankly, to himself. He is pitiable, and there is something very seriously mentally wrong with him that I am not sure he is capable of controlling or changing, but that doesn’t make him any less of a danger to anyone he comes in contact with, because his mental issues also involve him chronically exploiting and abusing the people close to him.
He definitely has some mental issues but would not say they hinder his ability to be self-aware or change. Andy just cannot commit to detoxing from bad habits as it is like an addiction for him and possibly due to the fact he likes attention and validation. With all his projects it is the same - he wants to be responsible for the fun part but not for the hard work and potential failure.
I doubt he is on ASPD spectrum as the main thing with it is "not understanding communication, behaviours and society" and he gets those very well. The other element is being oppositional ESPECIALLY to authorities so he would more likely be a hate blog writer. He fits manipulation criteria and egocentrism but they are traits of plenty things and can exist within individuals without issues.
However, unless his case is neurological, from what we seen of his independent life - he sure can have one if he commits to it and he just does not want to.
I doubt he is on ASPD spectrum as the main thing with it is "not understanding communication, behaviours and society" and he gets those very well. The other element is being oppositional ESPECIALLY to authorities so he would more likely be a hate blog writer. He fits manipulation criteria and egocentrism but they are traits of plenty things and can exist within individuals without issues.
However, unless his case is neurological, from what we seen of his independent life - he sure can have one if he commits to it and he just does not want to.
AYRT, I didnt mean that as “oh the poor thing can’t help it.” I think he’s a psychopath who can’t live in society without hurting people, and I think that documenting and breaking down his manipulations is vital, but that expecting him to change is unrealistic.
Diagnosed ASPD. I was there. narcissist, ASPD and possibly some aspects of the autism spectrum. Comorbid and causing distorted presentation. I was in the psychiatrist office with him, and after he pulled out the file and read parts of it to me and interrogated me on what I thought of it. Mostly at the time it was me trying to disprove what they said to him - symptoms he doesn't have or presents differently, etc. -KQ
He hasn't actually lost everything. He lost the esteem of a group of people he's known for a few weeks (and was already beginning to manipulate), a free place to stay and a few commissions. There's no reason to believe he's actually lost his job except him wondering if he has, and he could figure that out with a phone call. He still has his wages up to this point, a car full of his stuff and presumably Meg and/or his parents to fall back on.
The sensible thing to do would have been to call his workplace to say there's been a change in his living situation but he'll let them know as soon as he has a new address, for now could they take the old one off his records? If they said "Don't bother, you're fired", at least he would know what was up, and if he wasn't fired it wouldn't alert them to any issues. Then he could go and get a motel and start looking for a room to rent properly the next day.
It's only in his mind where not having access to a group of people to manipulate and control amounts to losing everything.
The sensible thing to do would have been to call his workplace to say there's been a change in his living situation but he'll let them know as soon as he has a new address, for now could they take the old one off his records? If they said "Don't bother, you're fired", at least he would know what was up, and if he wasn't fired it wouldn't alert them to any issues. Then he could go and get a motel and start looking for a room to rent properly the next day.
It's only in his mind where not having access to a group of people to manipulate and control amounts to losing everything.
I don't think it's that they don't understand... it's that they believe the behaviours and standards of society don't, or shouldn't, apply to them and have no empathy or conscience regarding others. they know very well how to imitate for personal gain, however, so I think understanding is not the issue.
I've always assumed he had some other diagnosis in addition to the personality disorders, since he takes meds and going off them during gishwes made him noticeably worse.
Or, you know, he just said that's why he behaved the way he did. he enjoys using his mental issues/meds to excuse his shit behavior.
I really don’t think he can trade one of his commissioned pieces for rent which is what he was doing. He was not paying a dime for staying there but was going to do some commissioned work for the owner of the house.
I don’t think most room owners will trade free room and board for a half-assed costume or painting.
I don’t think most room owners will trade free room and board for a half-assed costume or painting.
the really fucked up, self-destructive way he went about going to Los Angeles —He had a paying job, he is working on a relevant degree, he could have rented a room somewhere
It's really telling that this is how he went about it. I think that at the point of moving out there he was in the best position he's been in for a very long time, and he's crashed and burned within, what, four weeks? And for reasons entirely of his own making - I mean, if he'd done the grown-up thing of saving up some money and renting, his past probably wouldn't have mattered so much. An actual landlord isn't going to care that much about someone's shady background as long as the rent's paid. But he didn't do that, and now he's probably living in his car. Welp.
It's really telling that this is how he went about it. I think that at the point of moving out there he was in the best position he's been in for a very long time, and he's crashed and burned within, what, four weeks? And for reasons entirely of his own making - I mean, if he'd done the grown-up thing of saving up some money and renting, his past probably wouldn't have mattered so much. An actual landlord isn't going to care that much about someone's shady background as long as the rent's paid. But he didn't do that, and now he's probably living in his car. Welp.
NA
This is kind of a tangent, but this exactly is one of the reasons I was not very hopeful about his plans to go into costuming as a career choice.
Not only does his work keep him tied him to fandom and geek/nerd circles with all the easily-abused Geek Social Fallacies that implies, it also keeps him in an entire industry where people do accept this kind of thing more willingly than, I don't know, accountancy or engineering. I'm a theater person rather than film, which I think is where he's aiming, so there may be differences. But while most people in my circles at Andy's age do have some form of steady employment, it's still fairly common for people to crash in spare rooms, trade in things other than money (commissioned work, favours, room and board, etc), and network like crazy because so many opportunities come down to knowing someone. It's an environment where people are able to have their quirks and idiosyncrasies more obviously on display than more white-collar jobs would allow, which can be really positive but also allows for things like Andy's predatory tactics to be written off as just personality quirks, which is exactly what happened with the person he was staying with in LA.
Like, to be fair to him I don't know what 9-to-5 office job would take him with his work history or that he would be any good at it or want to do that with his life. But I just do not trust the fact that he's invested this much time and effort in pursuing a career practically designed to keep him in one of the environments where his bullshit has the highest chance of passing as normal.
This is kind of a tangent, but this exactly is one of the reasons I was not very hopeful about his plans to go into costuming as a career choice.
Not only does his work keep him tied him to fandom and geek/nerd circles with all the easily-abused Geek Social Fallacies that implies, it also keeps him in an entire industry where people do accept this kind of thing more willingly than, I don't know, accountancy or engineering. I'm a theater person rather than film, which I think is where he's aiming, so there may be differences. But while most people in my circles at Andy's age do have some form of steady employment, it's still fairly common for people to crash in spare rooms, trade in things other than money (commissioned work, favours, room and board, etc), and network like crazy because so many opportunities come down to knowing someone. It's an environment where people are able to have their quirks and idiosyncrasies more obviously on display than more white-collar jobs would allow, which can be really positive but also allows for things like Andy's predatory tactics to be written off as just personality quirks, which is exactly what happened with the person he was staying with in LA.
Like, to be fair to him I don't know what 9-to-5 office job would take him with his work history or that he would be any good at it or want to do that with his life. But I just do not trust the fact that he's invested this much time and effort in pursuing a career practically designed to keep him in one of the environments where his bullshit has the highest chance of passing as normal.
And TB shoots down all of his bullshit:
http://theteablogger.tumblr.com/post/175116944367/bullshit
http://theteablogger.tumblr.com/post/175116944367/bullshit
Oh, Andy. :(
If you really want that second chance, you're going to have to stop digging in the same ditch.
If you really want that second chance, you're going to have to stop digging in the same ditch.
I have to ask, because Andy’s post just has my head spinning. Is he actually conscious of his bullshit, or does he really believe he’s the victim? I’ve been following this since 2005, and I still have trouble completely wrapping my head around it. Two things I am sure of: 1. He’s still indulging in the same behavior he’s done since the Bagenders days. And 2. He can’t possibly be getting the therapy and/or meds he claims, or he really would see his behavior for what it is. The post by his LA host is very damning.
I don't really like to speculate on if he has a mental illness, or what kind it would be.
I can only say definitively that as a schizophrenic woman since the age of 16, I have yet to abuse anyone while in the throes of delusion. The most that really happens when I get like that is I obsessively check under my car because the Russians clearly planted a bug under it to keep track of my movements. And sometimes I shut myself up in my house and close my curtains right to keep anyone from watching what I'm doing. (Which is literally nothing most of the time.)
I've also never crashed at someone's house and overstayed my welcome, tried to insert myself into fannish spaces while behaving creepily insistent, or claimed my cats are my sons and daughter. Other than jokingly, of course. I'm also 0 for 0 on cults started.
I can only say definitively that as a schizophrenic woman since the age of 16, I have yet to abuse anyone while in the throes of delusion. The most that really happens when I get like that is I obsessively check under my car because the Russians clearly planted a bug under it to keep track of my movements. And sometimes I shut myself up in my house and close my curtains right to keep anyone from watching what I'm doing. (Which is literally nothing most of the time.)
I've also never crashed at someone's house and overstayed my welcome, tried to insert myself into fannish spaces while behaving creepily insistent, or claimed my cats are my sons and daughter. Other than jokingly, of course. I'm also 0 for 0 on cults started.
So basically, him telling everyone he was diagnosed a delusional schizophrenic was, in fact, a lie.
Good to know, thanks.
Good to know, thanks.
it's the million dollar question isn't it... and one me and a friend have often agonised over. I've been following since 2003, and it never fails to astonish even as I expect it. the fact he never evolves his tactics, that he recycles his tricks, that he treats everyone in the same way...
I do believe Andy is some form of ASPD... and while there are a lot of aspects of his story that are tragic, pathetic and sad... ultimately I suspect that, being sociopathic, Andy knows very well that he's not the victim... he knows that he's full of shit... he knows exactly what he's doing and why... but he just straight up thinks the rules should be different for him. he thinks the norms of society shouldn't apply to him. he sees himself as outside of it. he is hopelessly mediocre - and probably suspects that on some level - but can't allow himself to believe it. he knows he's full of shit and just recycles the same crap over and over... but being sociopathic, he is fundamentally unable to believe other people are as intelligent - usually far more so - than he is. that's why he does this ridiculous shit. he knows it's ridiculous. but he has such overwhelming contempt for the interior worlds of other people, it never occurs to him that others will see straight through it. no matter how many times it happens, over and over, that he is revealed to be no where near as clever or cunning as he thinks, he goes right on believing that he is - because he just straight up has utter contempt for everyone else around him. that's how sociopaths work. I mentioned in another comment I've been following another person in my own country in the BDSM world who has had an astonishingly similar trajectory to andy and every time I read a brilliant analysis of his behaviour and antics, the parallels to this individual shock me (they are both trans men, which I find curious, but I doubt it has much to do with their pathology ultimately - although it is something they have both used to predate on communities of young women). this individual escalates to extreme physical violence, which andy so far hasn't, but everything else about the way they operate - including treating the BDSM community like his own personal playground and forming what is essentially his own secular cult around himself - is startlingly similar. the need for power and control, the self-aggrandisation whilst being utterly mediocre (this other fellow has just as long a history of mooching off others whilst achieving nothing), even faking a terminal illness for over a year. and this same essential contempt for others that prohibits them from accounting for others' intelligence, insight and experience - and so, the games and the tricks remain the same and no evolution is ever made.
the individual here has recently been violent to another woman after several years of silence... and in the fallout, it's now revealed he has abused and been violent to other partners during his supposed 'reformation years'. the BDSM community is very big on forgiveness for abusers (...which of course is because there's so fucking many of them hiding their shit behind the shield of BDSM) so there's a lot of that talk going on now. and after twenty years of warning people about him and it often falling on deaf ears due to his glib charm and manipulative hold, I'm now fighting another battle of trying to make them understand a sociopath will not change because they do not want to - they do not see a reason they should change so they won't. this guy has - just like andy - faked reformation in the past, even to the point of leaving his sharehouse ever day to pretend to attend therapy. every time he's confronted, he cries and cries about how he's just so unwell and wants to change! and the same failure for any true accountability is always there. he had to leave my state in the end, sold his new city he was on a reformation path - only for it now to be revealed he - just like andy - concealed or outright lied about his past deeds.
sociopaths don't change. as hard as it is to accept the reality another human being might be beyond redemption - people like this guy, and andy blake, are the ones you can't afford to waste your compassion on. they just see it as a weakness to exploit, and keep on doing the same old shit.
I do believe Andy is some form of ASPD... and while there are a lot of aspects of his story that are tragic, pathetic and sad... ultimately I suspect that, being sociopathic, Andy knows very well that he's not the victim... he knows that he's full of shit... he knows exactly what he's doing and why... but he just straight up thinks the rules should be different for him. he thinks the norms of society shouldn't apply to him. he sees himself as outside of it. he is hopelessly mediocre - and probably suspects that on some level - but can't allow himself to believe it. he knows he's full of shit and just recycles the same crap over and over... but being sociopathic, he is fundamentally unable to believe other people are as intelligent - usually far more so - than he is. that's why he does this ridiculous shit. he knows it's ridiculous. but he has such overwhelming contempt for the interior worlds of other people, it never occurs to him that others will see straight through it. no matter how many times it happens, over and over, that he is revealed to be no where near as clever or cunning as he thinks, he goes right on believing that he is - because he just straight up has utter contempt for everyone else around him. that's how sociopaths work. I mentioned in another comment I've been following another person in my own country in the BDSM world who has had an astonishingly similar trajectory to andy and every time I read a brilliant analysis of his behaviour and antics, the parallels to this individual shock me (they are both trans men, which I find curious, but I doubt it has much to do with their pathology ultimately - although it is something they have both used to predate on communities of young women). this individual escalates to extreme physical violence, which andy so far hasn't, but everything else about the way they operate - including treating the BDSM community like his own personal playground and forming what is essentially his own secular cult around himself - is startlingly similar. the need for power and control, the self-aggrandisation whilst being utterly mediocre (this other fellow has just as long a history of mooching off others whilst achieving nothing), even faking a terminal illness for over a year. and this same essential contempt for others that prohibits them from accounting for others' intelligence, insight and experience - and so, the games and the tricks remain the same and no evolution is ever made.
the individual here has recently been violent to another woman after several years of silence... and in the fallout, it's now revealed he has abused and been violent to other partners during his supposed 'reformation years'. the BDSM community is very big on forgiveness for abusers (...which of course is because there's so fucking many of them hiding their shit behind the shield of BDSM) so there's a lot of that talk going on now. and after twenty years of warning people about him and it often falling on deaf ears due to his glib charm and manipulative hold, I'm now fighting another battle of trying to make them understand a sociopath will not change because they do not want to - they do not see a reason they should change so they won't. this guy has - just like andy - faked reformation in the past, even to the point of leaving his sharehouse ever day to pretend to attend therapy. every time he's confronted, he cries and cries about how he's just so unwell and wants to change! and the same failure for any true accountability is always there. he had to leave my state in the end, sold his new city he was on a reformation path - only for it now to be revealed he - just like andy - concealed or outright lied about his past deeds.
sociopaths don't change. as hard as it is to accept the reality another human being might be beyond redemption - people like this guy, and andy blake, are the ones you can't afford to waste your compassion on. they just see it as a weakness to exploit, and keep on doing the same old shit.
AYRT
You’re absolutely right on all counts. And I think we can add Narcissist to the list. I was raised and abused by one who to this day believes she was the perfect mother, and everything was my own fault, and she was the victim. A lot of similarities here.
You’re absolutely right on all counts. And I think we can add Narcissist to the list. I was raised and abused by one who to this day believes she was the perfect mother, and everything was my own fault, and she was the victim. A lot of similarities here.
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