continued Thatfucker discussion

[anonniemouse]

Since we've been kicked off FFA for the week, please feel free to continue the anon discussion here. Apologies if this is a big flop - I've never made a DW community before!

The rules are vaguely the same as they are over on FFA. Please refrain from being too much of an asshole, making personal attacks, posting identifying information or engaging in transfail.

ETA: If there's information you'd like to see archived (journal/blog posts related to Andy, etc.), please dump it here and link to it from the main post for discussing.

Comments

[(Anonymous)]

I just found out who the Anon I’ve been corresponding with was. It’s someone that I had asked not to contact me again for reasons of won’t-take-no-for-an-answer and betrayal/lying and who I had banned from all my social media.

Oh, no. I know who this person is, and he tried spinning me the same story (that she "wouldn't take no for an answer") way back when he lived with her, and I feel terrible for her now. He is SUCH a little shit. He couldn't be bothered to reclaim his belongings for months after he left, but he sure as hell saw the potential to cry tragedy once they were gone.

[(Anonymous)]

For the confused:

Suicidal aftermath of an anonymous Andy victim

http://tf-talk.dreamwidth.org/600.html?thread=73048#cmt73048

I'm sorry for what happened to your friend, anon.

What does he mean she "wouldn't take no for an answer"? That she wouldn't agree to his timeline for picking up his items, or that she's just stubborn? Or that he rejected her romantically?

[(Anonymous)]

He claimed to have rejected her romantically. This was when he was rooming with her (and I think the two people from the hike).

[(Anonymous)]

Didn't he say that about luvscharlie too? It seems to be his standard way of denigrating women who have found him out -- they fell in love with him, he rejected them, now he's worried they'll boil his bunny, etc. etc. (And he repeatedly tried to frame Abbey as the vindictive ex.)

[(Anonymous)]

Didn't he do that (either the vindictive ex or the unrequited, unwanted admirer) with Turimel? I know he did it wit Versaphile (the bitter ex part anyway)

[(Anonymous)]

He tried to say it about Jeanine, too. The second comment here? That was about her. http://carlanime.tumblr.com/post/89055364755/andy-commenting-on-abbey-andy-commenting-on

[(Anonymous)]

Oh holy shit, that first comment

[(Anonymous)]

What's the background on this? Who is he talking to, and how long ago was it? The way he throws Abbey under the bus here and lies through his teeth in order to make it appear that SHE took advantage of him is just putrid. Then again it's hardly the first time he's spread malicious bullshit about her as a means of petty revenge for leaving him.

[(Anonymous)]

The first comment. w o w

[(Anonymous)]

Thanks for sharing!

[(Anonymous)]

What an ass. You know, if Turimel was THAT concerned about hiding these bisexual or lesbian tendencies Andy seems to be implying she has, I doubt she'd have been happy to plaster the fact that she considered him a woman everywhere.

While I don't approve of Turimel misgendering Andy when it became apparent he was really trans, her initial posts on the subject came out long before Andy ever claimed a trans identity. His male identity at that time was supposedly the duplicate soul of Elijah Wood (which was very obviously a load of bullshit) and ran concurrent with him pretending to be dozens of other imaginary people. I can totally understand why she didn't take that seriously.

[(Anonymous)]

So classy of him to call her a creeper. Jesus.

[(Anonymous)]

Andy gets a massive thrill from making people dependent on him then cutting them off, doesn't he?

[(Anonymous)]

I have to say this sort of thing makes me really worried for Meg, if the pattern holds.

[(Anonymous)]

Yeah, I think winnjester flat out says there's a pattern of his pushing Meg away and reeling her back in. Which is really typical of a lot of abusers, I think.

[(Anonymous)]

I do think his parents are decent enough that they wouldn't kick the poor girl out without a place to go or any resources. They may enable him but I can't imagine they'd be that cruel.

[(Anonymous)]

Oh no, I mean how she would fair emotionally. WJ said she blames herself for anything that goes wrong between her and Andy, and that she's still heavily codependent on him.

On her post about sexually harassing Andrew, she seemed to credit Andrew with getting her into therapy, making friends, and generally turning her into a better person. I'm not sure how she'll react to losing her "savior".

[(Anonymous)]

I don't want to cross a line in speculating about an ongoing situation, so mod, feel free to freeze or delete, but this is the first I've heard about Meg being in therapy. I wonder if that's actual therapy with a licensed professional, or if it's the same sort of "therapy" Andy & this alters subjected previous victims to. I don't know Meg's financial situation, but therapy is expensive and Andy giving someone a lifeline to the real world seems dubious. I hope I'm wrong, for her sake.

(frozen comment)

[(Anonymous)]

I'm going to say this as someone with serious mental illnesses. If Andy hurts anyone else, it is at this point starting to be on his parents heads. They are letting him do this shit. They are letting him use their house to hurt people. At this point he needs to be somewhere with constant supervision WHETHER OR NOT HE IS REALLY MENTALLY ILL. His parents are being massive irresponsible and sooner or later they are going to be in court over it.

(frozen comment)

[(Anonymous)]

+1

Obviously he's an adult making his own terrible choices, but they're enabling him by allowing him to use their home to lure in and abuse people. I'm sure they feel helpless, as he does damage whether he's living with them or not and they obviously feel like this is somehow better than the alternative, but they are actively taking on that responsibility and liability.

(frozen comment)

[(Anonymous)]

Genuine question: what else would you suggest they do?

I mean at least this way they know where he is and can a least try to intervene.

(frozen comment)

[(Anonymous)]

This is getting pretty close to the asshole line.

If Andy hurts anyone else, it will be Andy's fault. By all accounts his parents are doing the best they can under very trying circumstances. I'd say they're largely unaware of his activities (particularly those that are online) and are very likely in a fuckload of denial, so I have nothing but sympathy for them.

Do I think they might need to kick Andy out and let things take their course? Yes. Are they enabling him? Probably. But as his parents it's impossible for them to see things objectively and it's more than likely that they, too, are his victims.

They're housing their disturbed adult child because they probably don't know what else to do, but at the end of the day, all of the responsibility for Andy's actions is on Andy.

(frozen comment)

[anonniemouse]

We need to tread carefully here.

- Andy's actions will always be on Andy.

- We know very little about what goes on inside that home and it's worth pointing out, as someone did below, that Andy's parents are also very likely Andy's victims.

I don't have an issue with discussion/speculation on this matter but statements like "they are letting him use their house to hurt people" are not really appropriate. Without knowing anything about the situation, we need to be careful we don't frame speculations like this as fact.

It's possible Andy's parents are being lied to and mislead by not just Andy but those who are under his influence, so what looks like negligence may be something else entirely.

[(Anonymous)]

He really, really does.

[(Anonymous)]

He did kick Diamond out with no warning so she was homeless and slept on a park bench the first night...